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When you were a kid, do you remember getting caught doing something your parents or someone else in authority over you had told you not to do – or for not doing something they had told you to do? You suddenly realized there were going to be consequences. You weren’t going to be able to do something you had really been looking forward to doing – like going to a party at a friend’s house, or going to a movie with friends, or the like.

You felt really bad! But, in truth, you didn’t feel bad about what you had done; rather, you felt bad about the consequence of your disobedience. And the truth is, that didn’t just happen back when we were kids. It also has happened to us as adults. As a matter of fact, it may have just happened yesterday.

Allow me to give a personal example with the hope that you won’t think ill of me. i have been known over the years to have somewhat of a lead foot when it comes to driving on the highway. As a result, i have been pulled over for driving over the speed limit on more than one occasion. i have always been sorrowful about being pulled over. But if i was to be completely honest with you, my sorrow rarely, if ever, had anything to do with the reality that i had broken the law.

The fact of the matter was that i felt bad about the consequence i was going to incur – i.e. the fine i would have to pay, the time i would need to spend in traffic school, or the increased insurance premium i was now going to have to pay. (By the way, the simple fact that i have been pulled over more than once is an indication that i truly was not sorry for what i had done.)

i think that’s true more often in our lives than we would care to admit. It’s the idea of being remorseful about the consequence, but not repentant over the action.

There is a very well-known example of that truth recorded in the Book of Numbers in the Bible.(1) Faced with the account of the spies who had been sent ahead into the Promised Land to bring a report, the people chose to heed the words of the faithless majority. They chose to ignore God’s promise and disobey His direction. As a result, God declared that all of the adults (other than Joshua and Caleb) were going to die in the wilderness and never step foot into the Promised Land.

We read that the Israelites knew they had sinned and they suddenly felt really bad about it, because God had told them what the consequences of their disobedience was going to be. Suddenly they were now ready to obey God so they could receive His promise. There was only one problem with this confession from the people – it was too little too late.

They did feel bad. They knew they had messed up big time! They knew their complaints against God had just cost them an inheritance in the Promised Land, and in exchange they had just settled for a burial plot in the wilderness. The reality of the consequence of their actions had begun to sink in. So now they were really sorry and ready to move forward as if they hadn’t rebelled. “Lord, let’s just go ahead as if it never happened. Please just forgive and forget! Let’s move forward with Your plan. After all, it’s Your plan. You promised us. Just forgive us and let’s move forward.”

What we’re hearing in the cries of the Israelites is remorse, not repentance. Remorse says, “I’m sorry for what I did because I am now hurting really bad.” The focus of remorse is always on me and my consequence. Repentance says, “God, I have sinned against You. I have dishonored and hurt You.” The focus of repentance is always on God and my rejection of Him. Remorse is always looking for the quickest way for me to get out from under the pain of the consequence and the most painless way for me to get back to the place where my desires are being satisfied.

Repentance is looking for the adjustment God would have me make to become rightly related to Him, no matter how difficult or painful that adjustment may be. Remorse is looking for the shortcut. Repentance is looking for God’s road of redemption. Remorse is looking for the whole incident to be put behind us. Repentance understands that though forgiveness is immediate, restoration is a process. i can be remorseful without ever experiencing a change of heart. Repentance, however, can only begin with a broken and a contrite heart.

The next action the Israelites took clearly revealed their unrepentant heart. Their response to sinning against God was to sin against God again! Instead of returning to the wilderness as God had commanded, they attempted to enter the Promised Land on their own accord. When we sin against God, we do not get to choose our path back to Him. We can only come to Him through His Way and we can only come to right relationship with Him through His Way. He made the Way through His Son.

Our only choice is to go God’s Way! By the way, we also need to remember that a delay in our obedience is also disobedience, and God does not allow those opportunities to perch. Though God will always accomplish His purpose, and nothing we ever do will frustrate Him in that end, our delays, in the very least, will cause us to miss out on the fullness of the blessing we would have otherwise experienced if we had not delayed.

So the people pushed ahead without God going before them, and the Amalekites and the Canaanites overwhelmingly defeated them. In fact, the Amalekites and the Canaanites chased the Israelites all the way to Hormah, which means, “devoted to destruction”. That is a great reminder to us that when we push ahead out of remorse and try to manipulate God into negating that which our disobedience has cost us, we, too, will end up in Hormah! We, too, will experience defeat and destruction!

So what do i do if i have been disobedient to God? Is everything lost? Can i never come back into right relationship with Him again? Gratefully, by His grace, that is not the case. He has promised us that “if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.”(2)

If we turn to Him in repentance, He will place our feet back on His path, which will always lead to our being rightly related to Him. It won’t mean that there won’t be any consequences – there will be! But we will be back in right relationship with Him, and He will be leading. Once again, we will be experiencing His victory.

Let’s not settle for less; and let’s not delay in responding to Him. Otherwise we, too, could end up in Hormah having done too little too late.

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Portions of this post have been taken from chapter 21 of my book The Wandering Years

(1)  Numbers 14

(2)  1 John 1:9 (NLT)

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