Who Am I?

i saw a piece of graffiti on the boarded windows of a store today. It read, “I’ll stop breaking your windows when you stop hurting my friends.” i’m not posting the statement to stimulate debate on the statement itself. That debate doesn’t solve the problem. i’m posting it as an example of the turmoil all of us are walking through right now. Unless you live under a rock at the top of the highest mountain in the middle of the most isolated island, you are dealing with the implications of this upheaval. 

You may be on the front lines risking your life as a first responder. You may be one of the peaceful demonstrators that are seeking change. You may be one of those who has been on the receiving end of unjustifiable violence against your person or your property. You may be one of those who, like the author of the graffiti, is on the “giving” side of that violence. You may be one who is asking when things will calm back down so we can return to the way things were. You may be one who is responding that we will never go back to the way things were, because we can’t go back there.

We’re struggling with where our identity comes from in the midst of one of the most divided times in history. We’re divided over race. We’re divided over whether “black lives matter” or “all lives matter.” We’re divided over sexual identity. We’re divided over monuments – and what they represent. In the midst of all this, we’re also divided over whether to wear masks or not wear masks. The only one who is not divided is that solitary person i mentioned earlier who is  hiding under a rock at the top of the mountain on that isolated island – because he or she doesn’t have anyone with whom to be divided!

We hear calls for unity … for reconciliation … for reparation – and we all know those calls are not new. The division prompting those cries has been going on for a long time – not only within the history of this nation but also for the millennia that predates us.

Throughout history we have labored to divide ourselves. We have divided ourselves over our nation of citizenship, our ethnicity, our race, our sex, our level of education, or our level of wealth (or lack thereof). We divide ourselves over whether we live on the north side, or the south side, or the east end, or the west end. We divide ourselves over whether we live in the hood or the burbs, the city or the countryside. We divide ourselves over our personal assessments of who deserves privilege and who does not. We divide ourselves over our politics and our religions. And on and on.

So, in the midst of all of this division, is there any way for us to be united or reconciled?  Do we just give up and stop trying? No, we do not! But as the saying goes – insanity is doing the same thing, the same way and expecting different results. There is only one place we will ever find true unity, reconciliation and reparation. It won’t come through our protests – peaceful or otherwise – no matter how well-intentioned they may be. It won’t be accomplished through violent acts. It won’t come through the laws we strike down or the new ones we enact. It won’t come from the monuments we tear down or the new ones we erect. It will not be dependent on the actions or inactions of our political leaders or the decisions made by our supreme court justices. It will not be the product of conservative, moderate or liberal views. It can only occur at one place. And that place is not the base of broken-down monuments … it is at a place that is a whole lot more gruesome than that … it is at the foot of the cross where our Savior’s blood was shed.

If we truly desire to find the solution – once and for all – in the midst of one of the most divisive moments of our lives, we need to change the question from whose lives matter to “who am i?” The apostle Paul wrote to a people who were divided over their beliefs, their religious backgrounds, their ethnicities and their leaders. They were dealing with discrimination and prejudice. And he told them the only way they could come together was to be “crucified with Christ.” He told them by so doing, it would no longer be them (in all of their dysfunction and division) who lived, but it would be Christ who lived in them. And the life they would live out would be a life of faith in the Son of God, who loved them and gave Himself for them.(1)

Every difference disappears at the foot of the cross. Every disagreement disappears at the foot of the cross. Every prejudice. Every bias. Every offense. Every trespass. Every transgression. We become united at the foot of the cross. No life is left out at the foot of the cross.

But at the foot of the cross, it becomes a personal issue. It’s not about what did that person do to me, or what did they do to us, or even, what do we do to fix it? It simply is … am I willing to be crucified with Christ? Because if i am, then “it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”(1)

And then – and only then – do we finally experience – in Him – the unity, the reconciliation, the reparation and the restoration we seek. So, at the end of the day, it really is up to us. Will we be defined by what divides us, or will we be defined by the One whose we are? Are we willing to honestly ask the question … who am I?

(1)  Galatians 2:20 ESV

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