Again, this is not the blog that i planned to post this week. My plan has again been redirected by life. Our plans often are. But not to the same degree as the life of another one of my friends. Yesterday, i was with my dear friend Amaury Santos whose wife, Stephanie, passed away last week without any warning due to a sudden heart attack. This was my second time in as many weeks to stand with friends who were walking through that unwelcome experience. Both of these dear women had been in perfect health. Neither of them had shown any previous signs of health issues. Both of them were going about their active lives when death suddenly occurred. Both were living lives of great Kingdom impact, and we would have expected both of them to enjoy many more years of life on this earth ahead. Then in a moment, both had suddenly – and unexpectedly – entered into the presence of the Lord, and their husbands and children had been left to walk through the unwelcome valley of the shadow of death and sorrow.
As I spoke with both of these friends, I told them that “i cannot imagine” the pain and the sorrow they are experiencing. i have not walked that road, and i cannot pretend to understand what they are feeling or experiencing. Don’t misunderstand me. Both of these men know beyond any shadow of a doubt that when their respective wives departed this life they were immediately standing in the presence of the Lord, more alive now than they have ever been before. They know that their wives are now reunited with loved ones, who also as a result of their walk with Jesus, have gone before them. Both of these men have confidence in the hope they have that they will see their wives again – and they will be reunited for eternity. But it’s this “in between” time for those that remain that is beyond words, and beyond imagination, because we would never desire to imagine what that valley is like.
Amaury said it well yesterday when he said that the one who could best imagine what he was feeling and experiencing was the patriarch Job. Job, after experiencing the death of all of his children and the loss of all that he had, had declared, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).
Like Job, both of my friends, are having to hold onto the truth that God, in His sovereign plan, brought these couples together as partners in life and partners in ministry. God ordained that they would share life together. That very truth was probably proclaimed at their respective wedding ceremonies. It is easy for us to see the goodness of God in that part of the statement. The hard part is when He “takes away”. But we don’t get to disconnect the two statements – if He is sovereign and good in the giving, then He is sovereign and good in the taking! And we must hold fast to the declaration that Job spoke, and Amaury repeated yesterday: “Blessed be the name of the Lord!”
If that is true in the good, it must be true in the hard. If that is true in life, it must be true in death. If that is true in health, it must be true in illness. If that is true in prosperity, it must be true in hardship.
The fact of the matter is that if we haven’t walked through the experience, we truly can’t imagine what the experience is like. But, we can know and hold onto God’s promise and truth. If we are truly followers of Christ, we are all at some point in the continuum of that truth. And though the point in the continuum is always changing, the confidence and the hope of that truth never changes. Though there will be times when it is more difficult to declare, those are the times when we must embrace the truth – and the Subject of that truth – the closest.
It is at those moments that we must choose to join with Job – and Amaury – in declaring “Blessed be the name of the Lord!” Even when we can’t imagine. Even when we can only imagine!
Yesterday, the funeral service for Stephanie concluded with the following song. It’s appropriate that i conclude this post with it as well.
I Can Only Imagine
I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine when that day comes
When I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I would do is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
(Repeat)
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
Songwriter: Bart Marshall Millard
© Essential Music Publishing