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In 1979, four sisters from Philadelphia, who together formed an R&B vocal group, released what immediately became their breakthrough album, We Are Family,(1) featuring their Grammy Award winning single under the same title. The Sledge sisters celebrated in song what it meant to be family. If you were around in that era, i would venture to say that the song immediately began to play in your head as soon as you read the title of this post! Even if your own family experience wasn’t as joyful as the lyrics in the song, you found yourself celebrating the idea of family when those notes began to play.

Our pictures of family may in fact look very different from one another in many ways, but in the way that i would say is the most important, i would hope it looks the same!

As some of you know, i lived in South Florida for a good part of my life. i attended school there from the age of 12. My wife and i met there. Our children were born there. God called us into ministry there. Though we are delighted to now call Virginia our home, we savor every opportunity we have to return to South Florida for a visit. (Particularly during these chilly winter months!) People frequently ask if we still have family living in that part of Florida – to which we reply that though no “blood relatives” live there any longer, our ties there are to long-time friends (brothers and sisters in the Lord) who have become family through the years. That bond has become just as strong – if not, in some ways, stronger. So periodically, as the sun and surf call out to us to return and get some rest, our visits to South Florida have become a respite and a retreat from the busyness of life and the pressing pace of the day-to-day, as we reconnect with “family”.

The writer of the Gospel of Mark records that crowds had been pressing in on Jesus so greatly that He and His disciples couldn’t find time to eat. When His family heard what was happening, they tried to take Him away because they feared “He was out of His mind.”(2) His family had traveled thirty miles from Nazareth to plead with Him to come home and get some rest.

When Jesus was told that His family was outside asking for Him, He replied, “Who is My mother? Who are My brothers?” Then He looked at those around Him and said, “Look, these are My mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will is My brother and sister and mother.”(3)

Jesus was not being disrespectful to His family. He knew their concern for Him was genuine. You’ll remember that at the wedding feast in Cana, His mother had turned to Him when she learned that the wine was running out. Mary was either a member of the family or a close personal friend of the wedding party. By association, therefore, so was Jesus. She was genuinely concerned for the family that day and was certain that Jesus would also share that familial concern. But He had patiently – and firmly – reminded Mary that He was absolutely bound to the Father’s will – and the Father’s will took precedent even over His mother.

Even years earlier, at age 12, Jesus had explained to His mother that He must be about His Father’s business (though Mary didn’t fully understand what He meant).

On this particular day, when Jesus was speaking to those who were standing or seated around Him, He was not suggesting His followers ignore or abandon their families in order to serve the Father. Rather, He was modeling that they put His will above all else in their lives.

Another time when Jesus was teaching His disciples about the cost of following Him, He said, “If you want to be My disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else – your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be My disciple.”(4) Though it is certainly the Father’s will that we honor and care for our families,(5) we must never allow our loved ones to detour us from pursuing the Father’s will, no matter how well-intentioned their motivation. That was a radical position for Jesus to take in first century Jewish society. In many respects, it’s still a radical position today!

But Jesus was also reinforcing the truth that as followers of Christ pursuing the Father’s will, we are family. “Anyone who does God’s will is My brother and sister and mother.”(6) We have become brothers and sisters in Christ! We are to love one another, encourage one another and lift one another up. We’re going to spend eternity together, so let’s learn how to live as family in the here and now!

But regrettably, that is not always the way we treat one another. Too often, instead of lifting up, we are tearing down; and instead of encouraging, we are criticizing – and not in a godly way! That too then detours us from being about the Father’s will. And trust me – no matter how much we may want to dress up our actions in “godly” jargon, there is no good motivation involved! The result is that the body is injured, our testimony is tarnished, the devil is delighted, the mission is set back, and we detract from the glory of God.

It is worthy to note that the very discussion Jesus was engaged in that day when Mary, His half-brothers and half-sisters came to see Him was with the Pharisees. They had just accused Him of being possessed by Satan.(7) And in His response, He admonished them that a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. There can be no health in feuding, no matter how much we may want to justify it.

As we walk with the Master, we are to be mindful of our family relationships. Children are to treat their parents with the honor they are due.(8) Parents are to nurture and cherish their children.(9) Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.(10) Wives are to submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord.(11) Brothers and sisters are to love and edify one another.(12) But above all else, we are to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls and minds.(13) We are to seek Him first.(14) We are to honor Him above all else and all others. And as we do, He will enable us to honor our family as we should – those who are a part of our nuclear family … and those who are a part of our faith family.

And don’t forget – our family is looking for us! Whether it is our nuclear family, our extended family, or our faith family. They are looking for us – to honor them rightly and well! Let’s be faithful to honor them in the way Jesus would! After all – we are family!

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This post is adapted from Walking With The Master, chapter 27, entitled “Your Family Is Looking For You.” This fourth book in the Lessons Learned In The Wilderness series is available through Amazon in print or for your e-reader. Click HERE for more information on how you can obtain your copy of the book.

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(1) We Are Family released by Sister Sledge on January 22, 1979

(2) Mark 3:20-21 (NLT)

(3) Mark 3:33-35 (NLT)

(4) Luke 14:26 (NLT)

(5) Exodus 20:12; 1 Timothy 5:8

(6) Mark 3:35 (NLT)

(7) Mark 3:20-30

(8) Ephesians 6:2-3

(9) Ephesians 6:4

(10)Ephesians 5:25-27

(11)Ephesians 5:22-24